


A Warlock Walks Into an Attack

by CloudyPinkTwink



Series: The Devil and A Warlock Walk Into a Bar [3]
Category: Lucifer (TV), Merlin (TV)
Genre: Gen, Mentions of Death, PTSD, anxiety attack, but he will be, not in this house kekekek, you think Merlin's okay?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:28:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26364961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CloudyPinkTwink/pseuds/CloudyPinkTwink
Summary: Merlin didn’t like people seeing the truth of his core- hardly enjoyed people like Lucifer, who he held so closely to his heart, seeing how fearful and unstable he really was. He wanted Chloe to not understand him, to not see him for what he was.
Series: The Devil and A Warlock Walk Into a Bar [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1902928
Comments: 35
Kudos: 221





	A Warlock Walks Into an Attack

**Author's Note:**

> Warning for an anxiety attack, and discussion of being hurt/killed.

He was leaving in two days; it was decided without question. It couldn't be questioned. This was something he knew he had to do; he still had his Destiny to take care of and to consider. Staying here in LA would go against that, and going against his Destiny had hurt. (He didn't forget about Freya and when he wanted to run away with her- how could he? He never could.)

So he'd go back to his temporary home in Maine, get things sorted there, then fly back to Europe and his lone home he built himself, right by the lake of Avalon. Then maybe he'd visit Lucifer, every few months or something. Not for too long- _never_ for too long. Merlin wasn't sure; it was easy to get lost in time. Too easy.

A few days could quickly turn into a few months which easily turned into a year and then two and then a decade passed and then the people he knew were gone and replaced by their heirs or simply footprints to remember them by that slowly faded into nothingness if he didn't hold on hard enough.

Letting out a sigh, the warlock focused on flexing his fingers one by one; watching the wind rustle the leaves. Getting settled down somewhere- making friends- it caused his anxiety to flare back up. Just thinking about how Lucifer wanted Merlin to stay and how Linda encouraged him to come back made his stomach clench. To think about how time flew by for him while it crawled slowly for them- how they would feel the years that passed and he would not- not until they were old and wrinkly he realized fifty years had passed and then he blinked and then they were gone from the world.

This was a slippery slope he got caught in far too often; this anxiety that made his heart beat and his magic threaten to explode out of his veins and lash out at the world around him. It took all his will to keep the magic thrumming beneath his skin, keeping it tame and at peace so that no one got hurt- no one except himself, maybe. But he could live with that.

Sitting in a random park in LA seemed to be offering its own kind of peace, and Merlin found that as he had left the sounds of people and laughter and hands everywhere and too many faces and _so many voices and oh god when would they turn on him-_

It was okay.

He was okay.

"Are you okay?"

Wait a second- he knew that-

Looking up, Merlin found a worried Detective Decker looking down at him with furrowed brows, a young girl- presumably her daughter- holding her hand and watching him with both concern and curiosity. More of the latter, but still.

"D-Detective." He offered a smile he was sure was _wasn't_ reassuring, and he watched as surprise flew across her face. Quietly, the warlock cursed himself for losing control of his emotions and having to do so in front of someone he may meet again- someone perceptive who might hate him if she figures out the truth.

Merlin didn't like people seeing the truth of his core- hardly enjoyed people like Lucifer, who he held so closely to his heart, seeing how fearful and unstable he really was. He wanted Chloe to not understand him, to not see him for what he was. The fact he was breaking and _she_ was who bore witness only made him feel worse than he was already feeling.

"Are you okay?" The question was asked again, but this time by the little girl. "You look sick. Like you're gonna throw up."

Merlin cocked his head to the side and shrugged. "I'm okay. Just a little unwell after being a little too stressed. I'll feel better soon enough." He stuffed his hands in his pockets; this way they wouldn't see him flex his fingers one by one, nor would they see the way he trembled.

"Oh, that makes sense." She nodded sagely, patting his leg comfortingly like she had seen others do. "Here, I'm gonna go play for a bit. I'm taking Leonard with me-" She held up a stuffed bear with an eyepatch, and then handed him some… weird thing. "You can have Ms. Alien; she'll help you feel better."

With that, the child ran off towards the playground that was empty beyond the stories and imaginary characters children made.

"You were zoned out for a bit there." Chloe murmured, studying him. "I tried calling your name, but you didn't respond."

"It's nothing, Detective." He tried waving it- tried waving her- off. It didn't work as she decided right there was a good place to sit, both of them being able to protectively watch the little girl- and maybe trying to focus the conversation elsewhere- he put the focus on the child. "Who's that? Your daughter?"

"Yeah; Beatrice, but we all just call her Trixie." There was a hint of pride, and utter adoration. A wonderful mother, Merlin was sure.

A part of him missed his mother, who was not spared from his tight lips that refused to share the secrets that were the burdens of his heart.

"Isn't that a-"

"If you _dare_ say that's a Hooker's name, I will arrest you."

Merlin held his hands up in defeat, grinning at her; he had a feeling Lucifer said something similar to her. It was Lucifer who taught him that sort of thing, anyways.

They sat in easy enough silence for a bit- though there was a clear tense line to the man still. He knew she could see it, and it worried him- scared him. It would be so easy for her to see the truth if she could see this much. And if she saw the truth, everything would fall apart- everything would collapse and he'd be lit on fire again, or thrown back in that iron maiden with the runes he couldn't break and he drowned for years on end-

His sharp intake and attempt to slowly, shakily exhale caught her attention. "Are you sure you're alright?" Chloe pressed, biting her lip a bit when she saw his hesitance. She wanted to offer a hand on his shoulder, some comfort, but she kept her hands to herself, not knowing if it would be too much or not.

"Look I- I know you and I, we don't really know each other. And you seem to like to keep your distance and walls up and that's okay. But you're a really good friend of Lucifer's- he speaks of you highly and he even seems to behave himself a bit when you're around." That got an upward quirk of the lips. "So I like you enough to worry and care, okay?"

"I… I guess…" He still seemed squeamish at the idea, unsure if he could tell her. Could he tell anyone? They would die in the blink of an eye and leave him to the wolves of people who would hurt him- would _kill_ him and he wouldn't die but god it's always so- "painful."

"What was that?" Chloe clearly heard what he said, and again he cursed himself. Merlin, not for the first time that day, wished he had this breakdown in his home, or somewhere else much more private like he normally did.

The only solution he had this time around was to go into what looked like an empty park, and pray no one paid him any heed (and usually no one did because who cares? They would just think he was going through some drug related problem, most likely. No one cared about some random on the stranger, but of course it wasn't a random who found him-)

"Just- I'm just stuck thinking about stuff and it's uncomfortable." He finally responded, realizing she wouldn't relent unless he gave her some sort of answer. Maybe she'd back off if he kept quiet enough, but he feared she might actually bring it up to Lucifer and Lucifer wouldn't relent without getting hurt and then Merlin would feel bad and guilty.

And _god_ what if he told Linda and next time he saw her, she just gave him that look that reminded him a little too much of Gaius?

"Is it anxiety?" The question was soft, her eyes careful and watching his movements for some sign- some answer to her prayers and he wanted her to look away and let him fall back to the shadows where she knew nothing of him.

"Something like that." He responded after a few moments, and in his coat pocket he began flexing his fingers one by one again. She was rather brazen to talk to him so upfront on a personal subject when they barely knew each other, but maybe it was because the tie between them was the one and only Devil. Being connected in such a manner left a different feel to your relationship and how you reacted and regarded one another.

Both adults watched in silence for a bit while Trixie played on the playset in front of them and it was empty, and Merlin had no idea the Detective had a child otherwise he would have opted for a bench farther away; farther out of her sights so she would never see him.

"Lucifer… Lucifer said he got you to go see his therapist." For some reason, she really wasn't letting it go. "Is that helping with it?"

"Maybe. I only went once, so far."

"You don't plan to go back?"

"It's not that I don't want to, it's just that I'm going back to Maine, and then back to Europe soon."

Alarm went across the woman's face, before she schooled it into something a bit more appropriate for someone she wasn't that close to. "You're leaving?"

Honestly, he really wasn't expecting her to be concerned or to care too much whether or not he was staying. In fact, he had felt she wasn't too impressed with him last time they met in the club, but maybe he misjudged. He misjudged a lot of things.

"Well- yeah. I said that I was just here for Arthur's case, didn't I?" He blinked at her. "Didn't Lucifer tell you that I normally stay in Europe?"

"You know Lucifer?" Their conversation was interrupted as Trixie had returned for some reason, but seemed taken by the idea that someone else knew the man. Hell, she almost looked _excited_ and it almost startled the Warlock. He had no idea how to deal with children; didn't detest them like Lucifer, just felt awkward and terrified he'd break them after all this time of not dealing with them. "Are you two friends?"

"Yeah sweetie, this is Lucifer's good friend, Merlin." Chloe introduced him to her daughter, and seeing the elated grin brought one onto his own face.

"Merlin, like the wizard?"

Ah, there the grin went to be replaced by a frown. "Not a wizard; a warlock." He grumbled to himself, pouting. Before he let either lady distract him, he grabbed a pebble. "Want to see a magic trick?"

"You can do magic tricks?"

"Well, I am the great Merlin, am I not?"

The anxiety faded away as Merlin spent a good chunk of his afternoon showing an excited little girl and her mother some magic tricks using rocks and no magic. It was fun to learn magic tricks, so that when people accused him of magic, he could just do these tricks that had nothing magical to them.

Laughter and smiles and little "wow"s as even Chloe was surprised at what he could do lifted his heart, and Merlin's trembles were gone and the never ending voice that sounded just like his own that told him he was terrible and going to get caught had finally faded. The panic subsided and Merlin thought maybe he'd be able to get through it.

But it didn't stay away.

Of course it didn't stay away.

* * *

That feeling was back, and Merlin found himself pacing the penthouse that did not belong to him. He didn't _want_ to be pacing- in fact he didn't want to be dealing with his anxiety here of all places but he didn't know where else he would have privacy and he needed a place to just- let his magic go. Just for a bit.

Anxiety was something he battled with for a long time; no matter how many years passed and how many things he went through, the anxiety wouldn't leave him alone. In fact, it just seemed to get _worse_ as time went on and he hated it, so much.

There wasn't a time in Merlin's life where he went a month without a stab of anxiety, having to pull away to calm his racing heart and rapid breathing. At least when he was younger, it felt more rational. He didn't know he was immortal, so he feared that his secrets would come to light and he'd die at the pyre and it was so, so terrifying.

As his experience grew, so did his anxiety.

Somehow it seemed to make sense, though; Merlin kept hiding, and he kept facing horrible things- _wars, burning, drowning, being murdered, being kidnapped, being hurt, being hated_ \- so no wonder his anxiety increased. His fears only doubled as humanity kept proving to him that the only place he was safe was in the shadows.

Specifically, in Arthur's shadows.

He missed Arthur.

So much.

Pushing the heels of his hands into his eyes, the warlock let out a low groan. No no no- he didn't want to deal with this. He didn't _want_ to feel this way.

Merlin imagined how Arthur would react to seeing him like this, and cringed knowing severe panic and fear was something else he kept in the dark from his King and everyone else. No one got to see this part of him- something they saw it in moments but like with Chloe, he kept his mouth shut and answered vaguely and shortly.

Gaius had always done his best to offer a place of peace and quiet, tedious work to help calm his ward when the anxiety began to take him over, or would send him to go fetch herbs far in the forest so he could let his magic out without concern.

Not even Lucifer knew, though, if anyone to know, he'd want it to be him.

But Merlin _didn't_ want anyone to know. It was embarrassing to be seen so vulnerable and afraid- to panic about threats that weren't really there anymore. If someone accused him of magic- _god even just the hypothetical thought made his stomach churn and his magic lash out to pick up the piano-_ nowadays they'd all just laugh it off and call them a child or crazy person. Hell, they might even suggest they're drunk or high. No one even believed in magic anymore- not in the sense of the Old Religion. Not truly.

Merlin could say he had magic; could say he's the legendary Emrys that helped guide King Arthur and would guide him again when he was reborn to save Albion and _no one_ would believe him. No one would truly believe him, just like no one believed Lucifer was the Devil unless they saw proof of his angry face and molten eyes.

But he was still afraid.

He thought about playing along with Lucifer and just being another "delusion man" but the fear struck him so strongly he thought he might throw up- he _did_ throw up once.

Merlin could use his magic to protect himself, to take down entire armies, to make the world bend at his feet yet he wouldn't. He morally felt incorrect to abuse his powers- to use them for such manners unless Arthur himself requested. No, Merlin rarely used his magic for anything great anymore.

People hurt Merlin- people _killed_ Merlin in horrific manners and despite his immortality, it terrified and haunted him for years and years and years and it still hurt him when he closed his eyes and was back there in those times.

Crowded places reminded him of being shoved around before being beaten or burned and killed and god they stared at him and they hated him and it terrified Merlin to a point he couldn't breathe anymore and he had to escape the crowd.

One would think that Merlin could overcome it all, just like he had overcome the past, but he never did. He remembered the first time he was Dragoon and his friends stared up at him and nearly burned him because he was saving Arthur and Gwen's love.

He had never forgotten that, and it was that coupled with his depression of Arthur's death that kept him from revealing to anyone else that he was a Warlock. The only reason the Queen of Camelot knew was because Gwen had figured it out on their own, but they hadn't talked about it (they couldn't; not when they had been counting on him and his magic to save Arthur and then he didn't and he was a _failure_.)

"Brooding, Merlin?" The Warlock nearly screamed, jumping and whipping around to see Lucifer standing at his bar, a concerned expression gracing his normal, playful grin. "My, I have to say, the look doesn't suit you that much."

Opening his mouth, Merlin (and subsequently, Lucifer) realized how bad he actually was at the moment. His voice came out brokenly, and he was shaking terribly- his hands trembled as he made them in fists by his side.

"Are you alright?" Lucifer felt uncomfortable having to deal with someone being upset- emotions weren't his strong suit. The idea that someone could cry out of joy had been a shock to him when the Detective had done so. But he at least could tell that Merlin wasn't okay, looking at him with fear and apprehension and wide eyes that reminded him of the young man that he met when he was 200.

Maybe this was an expression that Merlin wore when he was younger than that- when he was still a mere mortal man. When the risk of death hung over his head so much more prominently.

Lucifer was reminded of how the Detective had approached him later in the day, after having spent the early afternoon with her spawn. She had told him how they ran into Merlin.

" _He was zoned out, seemed pretty upset about something."_

_Seeing his confusion, Chloe simply shrugged and stated she knew no more; turning their attention back to the case at hand._

It wasn't a secret to the Devil that Merlin was much more human than he; the man may be magic on legs, but he had been raised in a human home, in a human village, with a human mother and human friends. He had known magic his whole life, but he had also known the human heart and the human mind.

Merlin felt and expressed much more than Lucifer- though the devil was reminded of a drunk conversation where Merlin admitted that Arthur had often called him a girl or a pessimist since he tended to be much more expressive than other men around him.

Lucifer was also faintly aware that Merlin often ran from him when his feelings got too bad. A tense air would build, and Merlin would be zoning out and breathing with more focus and care as he slowly flexed his fingers; either one by one or into fists. Finally it would become too much and Lucifer would feel the tingle of magic on his tongue, but before he could ask Merlin would excuse himself and run away.

Yeah, Lucifer tried following sometimes, but even then Devil struggled to follow someone who used strong magic to hide themselves from all around.

(and maybe by the time Lucifer cared enough to follow, he cared enough to know that if Merlin was hiding himself when he was uncomfortable, he didn't want to be found and maybe Lucifer should give him his space.)

But Merlin was here now and he can feel the magic and he hasn't run away yet.

"You're afraid." He stated clearly, yet gently enough that his usual authority wasn't there. "Why are you afraid, Merlin?'

Licking his lips, blue eyes darted around- _don't run away Merlin, not again, please open up to me. Let me care for you as you've cared for me-_ before Merlin finally shifted his legs and suddenly his whole body was shaking and Lucifer was worried he was going to hurt himself somehow.

A part of him wanted to reach forward and catch him in his arms before he fell. The major part of him refused, uncomfortable initiating that and aware he might startle the man.

"I- I don't- I don't-" Merlin struggled, clearly, and Lucifer felt that impatience rising. He pushed it down with a nonchalant gulp of amber liquid.

Merlin always showed him patience despite his own moods or rude behavior. Merlin was always there and supportive of the Devil when he was upset. Lucifer could return the favor- he _would_ return the care.

Lucifer would help him leave the shadows, and Merlin would walk beside him in the blinding and warming light that the star brought him.

"Crowds." Merlin finally admitted, voice soft and shaking and his eyes still darted around as he looked for something to focus on. "They- they remind me- if people find out- they'll kill me. They'll beat me and drown me and burn me alive again."

Being burnt alive was a cruel punishment, one Lucifer knew all too well. Too many years in that godforsaken pit where he screamed and begged and no one ever came.

"Do- do you remember?' Merlin kept talking, and his magic kept working. Bottles on the shelf rearranged themselves, clinking gently as the golden wisps carried them carefully. "Do you remember when we were in the same town back then and they- they accused me?"

Lucifer squeezed his eyes shut.

"They accused you and you threw up, and if it wasn't for me, they would have burned you."

"I've been burned so many times." Merlin muttered absently, finally collapsing onto the couch, elbows on his knees and hands still shaking and eyes still gold. "It never got better. And I get stuck in those crowds and sometimes- sometimes I just get lost in the thought that- that they're going to all turn to me and scream that I'm a witch or I'm evil and they'll break my bones and burn my skin and pray I die."

Lucifer slowly approached him, listening to him speak and he felt an ache in his chest. He wasn't entirely sure what that was, but it was something familiar to when Chloe was unhappy and he felt unable to make her smile.

"I always thought that maybe I'd get better as the years passed but I _didn't_ get better. It's like everything just builds up- a bunch of wounds on my mind that keep reopening every time I'm in a situation that shares a single grain of similarity." His hands were still shaking, even as Lucifer gently took one and laid it on the couch, his own on top. Piercing gold faded to blue and watched the movement and did nothing to stop it, he just kept talking. "I know that in this day and age, I could be as honest as you and no one will pay any mind to me but I can't forget, Lucifer."

Finally, he looked up at him imploringly and Lucifer couldn't help how those blue eyes hurt him with how raw and afraid they were. His heart was wounded and distantly, Lucifer remembered how the last and only time he had seen such emotion was when Merlin was begging him to bring Arthur back.

"I can't forget how they all wanted me dead. How they all turned on the doctor that saved them, birthed their children, and led him to be burned for a crime they didn't even have proof of, regardless of how true it was. I can't forget when they stoned me, or when they beat me or stabbed me or shoot me or- or-"

Lucifer never died like that. He burned to the core, and it hurt, it _hurt_ so much. But he didn't have anyone to fear but his own siblings and Father, and they all avoided him rather well. Merlin, on the other hand, was constantly in the presence of those who would hurt him for a misguided notion of what was evil and wrong and deserving of punishment.

And he wouldn't stop them, either. Merlin had this terribly wrong idea that should he use his magic to protect himself, he was abusing his powers.

"A part of me wants to stay." Merlin suddenly blurted, and Lucifer admittedly wasn't expecting that. Nor was he expecting the joy and hope that started building up in him.

"Really?" Apparently his hope was clear on his expression, his younger friend chuckling at him.

"I think it would be nice to stay with you here, but then I think about time and how quickly it passes." The admittance wasn't unexpected; Merlin had expressed this anxiety a few times; how the seemingly quickening passage of time terrified him as he got older and the years blurred together into nothingness; something he could barely remember in a way one couldn't remember what they did five minutes ago because they had zoned out.

Lucifer didn't fully understand; his perception of time differed a bit since he had been around long before the concept of years and months and days and hours and minutes. They didn't blur together in the same sense; he was always aware of the passage of things, always committing things to memory unless it was something useless. Things didn't blur together into a forgettable mass.

"That terrifies you?"

"It does; I fear I'll focus on my thoughts far too much, and I'll blink and everyone will have died again and there's new faces I only recognize because I knew their parents but I don't know _them_." Merlin hated it.

They sat in silence a bit, Lucifer staring down where his hand rested on top of Merlin's to offer comfort.

"I'll pull you from your daydreams, then." Lucifer finally murmured, worried he might startle Merlin still and he won't come back for decades. "I'll make sure you're paying attention if that's what you're afraid of. Keep a journal; I hear that does wonders for some."

Those lips curved into a smile and Lucifer tried to remember the last time he felt them on his own. He remembered the warmth they brought, and he stoked that feeling into a fierce protectiveness for his friend.

"And you should know I'm not going to let anyone burn you again." He meant that, genuinely. He never let anyone burn for the false crime of magic. Magic wasn't evil, and it wasn't even his creation. How those priests and holy people squirmed when they came to hell, and Lucifer told them how magic was God's creation and plan. "I won't let you be killed again if you let me protect you, since you still can't see you're allowed to do your magic for yourself."

"It feels wrong and selfish." Merlin mumbled, but his expression did soften; though a shadow now fell over him, telling Lucifer of his exhaustion. "I feel like my Magic shouldn't be used for myself, but for Arthur or others who are defenseless and need to be protected."

Even then, they both knew Merlin had slowly grown to try and fix things for others without magic.

"Well it isn't; I would know, wouldn't I?' Lucifer raised his brows at the warlock, silently asking him to verbalize his doubts. When the Warlock didn't, he continued forth; "I'm the Devil; the king of Sins. I would know if you using your magic to keep yourself from dying or fighting off a mugger who stabs you is selfish. And let me tell you, Merlin, it's _not_ selfish. But since you're still doubting, I'll be sure to keep any others at bay who would see fit to burn you."

Lucifer would keep his friend safe, if it meant he would step away from the shadows of fear one day.

Leading him by the hand, the Devil brought Merlin to sit beside him at his baby grand, smiling at him with encouragement when the warlock merely looked tired- Lucifer knew he'd be apprehensive to sleep. Maybe he could lull him?

Sorrowful and quiet music filled the room, calming the two as it slowly drifted forth from the expert pianist's hands. Merlin had always been horrendous with a piano- it was utterly laughable that not even the Devil himself could teach him. A hopeless case; he did well with other instruments, just not a piano.

So he'd sit next to Lucifer, listening to him as his fingers glided across the keys to invoke different emotions from the hearts of all his listeners- even if it was just the wind carrying it to the heavens and to the depths. Merlin would sit patiently, a soft smile- like the one there now- on his lips as his heart was lifted and held by the delicate sounds.

As Merlin felt the tension leave his body, he felt a new want fill him.

Hugs weren't something the Devil liked that much- Ella and Trixie could attest for how he awkwardly patted their backs until they finally pulled away- but the familiarity of Merlin's body against his own was always welcome, even if they were both fully clothed and sitting against each other a little awkwardly on the piano bench.

Besides, no one would know that there was one person he had lowered his walls for long before Chloe who was an exception. Who needed a tactile affection at times to calm his racing heart and racing mind.

Likewise, no one would know that long after Arthur, there was one who he could step out of the shadows for and find strength and security in. When Emrys failed, Merlin could find comfort and recharge in the presence and even arms of another.

Lucifer would protect Merlin, and Merlin would offer acceptance to the Devil.

They would always love one another always, because for so long, no one else ever had.

* * *

To be fair, Chloe was already preoccupied with thinking about the case to remember that Merlin was staying at Lucifer's penthouse. Turning over the clues and facts in her head, she just stared absently at the elevator wall until the ding and click of the doors opening caught her attention. She was pretty sure she knew who had killed Arthur, but wasn't entirely sure yet and wanted to run it by Lucifer right away.

It was just one of those cases she couldn't get out of her head- maybe it was because it led to her meeting another puzzle piece to the man she cherished so deeply?

Shaking the thought away while she walked in to seek her partner, Chloe found two things.

One being Lucifer wasn't in sight, but she could smell his amazing cooking and she knew he was making one of his delicious omelettes that she adored so much (though she wouldn't tell him and give him leverage to tease her further.)

The other was that there was a form sleeping on his couch, curled up with a blanket pulled to his face. There was this sense of peace as she studied the sleeping man, his eyes closed so his lashes rested against his cheeks. If she was honest to herself, he was actually kind of pretty in an otherworldly way- high cheekbones, big eyes, pale skin with contrasting black hair.

Not for the first time, Chloe wondered if Lucifer knew how beautiful he seemed and if their relationship had ever been deeper. She wondered if someone else had held Lucifer's heart, to get the looks and care she thought were reserved for her and her alone.

Silently, the blonde cursed herself- that wasn't fair to be jealous of someone Lucifer might've loved in the past. Clearly she had done the same; she had Dan, and they had slowly repaired their relationship and were good friends now. Dan was someone she could trust and be fond with, and maybe that's what Merlin was to Lucifer. It wasn't fair for Chloe to try and monopolize her partner just because she had thought she was the only one.

"Ah, Detective." Lucifer's voice, gentler to respect the sleeping man, caught her off guard and she couldn't stop herself from gasping. Luckily, it was quiet enough that Merlin did no more than snuggle further into his slumber. "Would you like some coffee?"

"Sure, thanks." She smiled at him, and followed him to his kitchen. While not closed off entirely, they'd still be able to talk a little louder without having to worry about waking his slumbering friend. "Did you just let him spend the night with you the entire time he's been here?"

Apparently Lucifer didn't realize he had, as he blinked a bit before he laughed quietly. "I suppose I did; he still wasn't feeling that good last night, so I just told him to just stay."

Fearful blue eyes came into memory, and Chloe wondered if Merlin knew just how vulnerable and afraid he had looked when she walked in on him at the park. He didn't look like the cheeky man who offered sass and knowing looks and a smile that seemed older than time itself. No, instead he just looked like someone who was afraid and bleeding on the inside and was too scared to let anyone in, should they simply attack him and use his fears against him.

There had been no real question about it when the Detective had decided to sit next to Merlin, feeling as though he needed the support. Even if it was as simply as being a presence nearby, given he wasn't going to open up so easily.

"Is he okay?" It felt like she was treading through unknown waters, careful about angering the ocean. Lucifer tensed, as though considering if he would tell her or not and it dawned on her that there was someone he would keep from her. "I saw him yesterday, and he looked terrified of me. Did something happen to him..?"

That did the trick, and Lucifer's shoulders relaxed as he sighed, turning to hand her a mug. "Yes. Something did happen."

"Something more than everyone he loves dying?"

There was that soft, sad smile that Chloe remembered seeing when Lucifer told her how her father would be proud of her.

"Yes, Detective. Merlin's been hurt a lot; many people accusing him of evil and cruelty for simply being born the way he is. Which, I won't divulge in what I mean with that as respect to him." He lifted his hand, and she couldn't help the pout that he detected what she had been about to say. "Sometimes it's been brutal in a way that makes me feel sick, if I'm honest with you."

"It's been that bad?"

Nodding, Lucifer began putting a wrap around the omelette- no doubt he was going to just leave it for Merlin to have whenever he woke up, rather than wake him now. "It's been awful; for the most part, though, Merlin is able to go past it. He still sees the good in people, and he's able to live life rather comfortably and confidently. But, sometimes, he gets these… attacks."

Biting her lip, Chloe wondered how to proceed without revealing her jealous suspicions. "Has he always come to you about them?"

"I think this is the first time." That caught her off guard, and it must've shown given the look of amusement the self-proclaimed Devil sent her. "I told you, Detective, he's very guarded and secretive by nature. Merlin doesn't want people to see him like that, afraid of what else they may see through the cracks of his strong bravado."

Chloe could accept that, and quietly the two of them left the penthouse and the sleeping man to peace and bliss of the morning sun and warmth.

"What else is there, Detective?" Lucifer's tone was louder; more playful now that he didn't have to worry about waking his companion. "You have that silly expression you wear when there's a question you want to ask me."

"What? No, no, there's no question." Chloe was quick to deny, but he made it clear he didn't buy it at all.

"So long as it's not asking the finer details of Merlin's personal life, you know I'll be more than happy to be honest with you."

That promise of honesty broke her, as did those genuine, brown eyes that were nothing but warmth and affection and sincerity. "Alright fine, just- did you two- you know?" At his confusion, Chloe knew she had to specify and actually voicing this thought reminded her how silly she was being jealous. "Were you two ever together?"

Clearly, Lucifer hadn't been expecting that and Chloe had a second to panic that she asked the wrong thing. "I suppose so."

"You suppose? You? You don't know if you were sleeping-"

"Well, of course we slept together, Detective." It was stated so obviously Chloe couldn't help the snort. Of course. How could she ever doubt that? "But that's not what you're asking, is it? You're asking if we had a deeper relationship than that."

Well… yeah that was true. That's what she was more curious about; Lucifer could sleep with anyone (except her) so his sexual history meant much less to her.

"I don't think so, we were simply friends with benefits if you will." The man rolled his shoulders, leading her out of the club. "That's all."

Chloe didn't think that was all, when she thought of the softness he held for the other man and the clear respect between the two.

Maybe Lucifer didn't know.

Jealousy burned in her heart, and Chloe knew today was going to be a long one.

* * *

"Are you feeling better now?" It was funny watching him jump, the magic man not having noticed her walk towards him as he was busy reading a book. Trixie thought he was fun, just like she thought Lucifer was fun. But in a different way, you know?

"Oh, um, yeah." He offered her an awkward smile, but it was awkward because he was caught off guard, not because he was hiding how hurt he was inside. Mommy said she was really… perceptive… with how she could see he was hurting inside. Apparently she was really good at reading people, even though she wasn't entirely sure what she meant by that. "Thank you; Trixie, right? We met at the park the other day."

"Yeah, we did, and you showed me all those tricks." Nodding, the little girl confidently sat across from him. "Mommy dropped me off because she has some work to do, and the Librarian is our neighbor who said she'll take me home when she's done with work."

Merlin nodded, closing his book to give the girl more focus. "What do you plan to do, then?"

"Well, I was going to work on my doodle book." It was one of those books with a bunch of prompts in them, this one having unicorns and princesses, but Trixie put in demons and aliens and police women. "But since you're here, I figured we could talk."

"Talk?" The man's brows raised into his bangs, seeming surprised she spoke with conviction that said it was an important 'talk'. "What's on your mind then, Ms. Trixie?'

Good, the child thought to herself, he was cooperating. She wasn't going to have to call on Maze, after all.

Looking up at him, she felt a sense of wonderment- something similar to the way Lucifer felt when she laid her innocent, brown eyes on him. Something inside her jumped in an excitement seeing Lucifer, and that same thing happened when she had seen the man her mom was talking to. When his bright blue eyes met hers, there was no denying it.

This man was special, and maybe something like Lucifer. Not Lucifer exactly, of course, because there can only be one Devil, but something else. Maybe Mommy wasn't lying when she said Lucifer's friend had magic. Lucifer had a kind of magic too, after all- the kind that saved him when he got shot.

So Merlin needed to stay, just like Lucifer needed to stay. Just like Maze was her spooky demon friend who taught her how to use knives and thought she didn't really believe her (how couldn't she after Halloween?!), maybe all three of them could be friends with her and they'd be able to defeat everything that came in their way.

Maybe.

Merlin needs to stay for that, though.

So they needed to have this talk, and Trixie was grateful he was cooperating.

"Well; Mommy told me you're Lucifer's friend." Satisfaction bloomed in her chest when he confirmed again with a nod. "She says you're his best friend, but you plan to move away somewhere really far. Mommy says it just happens like that sometimes, but… you should know that moving away will make Lucifer sad."

Merlin tried not to laugh. "No, I think he'll be fine if I move away."

"No he won't." Trixie insisted, her brows furrowing over her big brown eyes. "Mommy says Lucifer might not show it very well, but Lucifer likes you a lot and is happier with you around because you know him in a way the rest of us can't." Which sucked, but maybe it was an adult thing and one day Trixie would understand. Worse though; what if it was a _boy_ thing? Trixie would _never_ understand it then! She'd have to ask Daddy all the time to know what was wrong.

When her new friend didn't immediately relent, Trixie huffed. "Why do you want to leave anyways? Don't you like us?"

Contemplating his answer for a moment, Merlin finally responded; "I'm waiting for someone in Wales, and I can't miss it."

"Then why can't you stay here, and go visit there? Or set up security cameras?" She would not give up as easily as her mother, who had tact and knew things about adults. "Then, when they come, you can bring them here if it's so important. They can meet Lucifer and Mommy and me and we can all be friends."

Merlin couldn't help the laughter. "I'm sure he'd love to meet you. He was always a little awkward with kids."

Trixie felt on top of the world making him smile and laugh. Lucifer would be proud to know she cheered his clearly close friend up. "Like Lucifer?"

"I think he's a little better than Lucifer, but I could be wrong."

"Well there's only one way to find out, huh?"

"You really think that if I stay, it'll make Lucifer happy?"

The little girl nodded sagely once more, and Merlin found himself fascinated by the simple wisdom that came with children's innocence and straight forward thinking.

"It'll make me happy too; I like those tricks you do."

"...Do you want me to show you some more?"

Another nod, though less sagely and more childish excitement.

"Well… a Magician isn't supposed to share his secrets…"

"But you're not a magician." Trixie declared, mirth and pride in her eyes and Merlin found himself fond of the child almost immediately with her next words. "You said you're a warlock, which means you can teach me everything."

Merlin could argue that a warlock wasn't too different, or point out that she didn't know the rules of being a warlock. But he found that wasn't as fun as pretending he had been caught in a scam and now his only choice was to give her what she wanted.

Which, all she wanted was to meet the man who showed her things that left her delighted and laughing.

And so the Librarian found she couldn't silence the table of the man showing a wonderful little child the wonders of magic tricks, teaching her one that she perfected by the time she needed to go.

* * *

A day later, Merlin went back to Maine.

* * *

A Week later, Merlin moved back to Wales, and Lucifer felt his heart yearn for the company of the man who accepted him and treated him like an equal.

* * *

A month later, Lucifer, Chloe, and Trixie helped Merlin move into a new apartment in LA.

**Author's Note:**

> Kekekeke sorry for the later update but life's been a little difficult lately!! I stayed up for 4-5 hours writing this thought sksljdf I love writing these things
> 
> Anyways; I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I had a lot of fun with it. 
> 
> Writing Merlin and Lucifer's relationship is really fun- I'm sorry if Lucifer is a little ooc, but he does have someone who impacted him before meeting Chloe, so you know. Originally, I wasn't going to make their relationship any deeper, but I'm actually having fun playing around with how Lucifer and Merlin feel towards one another, as well as the other two they respectively love. Especially since I draw parallels between Lucifer and Arthur (two prideful men who had to be pulled down to earth) and parallels between Merlin and Chloe (protective, seeking help the ones they care about to gain their trust). It's just fun you know? 
> 
> Anyways, as you can see, I'm keeping Merlin in LA, so he will be meeting everyone else :)) I have it planned out... vaguely... so don't worry! I also have a bit more planned on the Merlin verse side of things ;) 
> 
> Merlin is still human at his core, and he suffers from the severe things that have happened in his life with either depression or anxiety- I personally think it didn't get better after 1,500 years. That's simply my personal take though and how I prefer it to make what I want happen. He's not going to suddenly start expressing everything to Chloe or even Linda or even Lucifer, but you know. 
> 
> Sorry I'm rambling sdkjlfhsd
> 
> Please leave your thoughts! Love you all and hope you're doing well!


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